Duck, Duck, DUCK!

When I was younger, my parents got ducks.

See, as a kid, my dad grew up with a duck and a cat. The duck and cat grew up together, so they wouldn't hurt each other. They'd sleep together and protect each other. So my dad wanted a duck for me. Because if you only get one duck, then it attaches itself to a human, and thinks itself to be human.

Our first duck was brilliant, it would lay in your arms, come to you, play with you, you could even watch T.V. with it! Then we moved, and the people who bought our house wanted to keep our duck. Which we agreed to seeing as we didn't exactly have a place to keep him at our new house yet.

So a year went by and we got a new duck. One of those white ones that looks like that Aflac duck. And this one carries none of the brilliance our other duck had.

This thing just never learns, and lucky me its decided to attach itself it my side. See, a duck is like most birds, it will attach to one person and one person only. Our last duck picked my dad, but for some reason this time, I'm the lucky winner.

This stupid duck will walk right in between your feet and try to bite at your feet and legs. And you can't walk normally because you don't want to step in the dumb thing so your all trying to be considerate and it gets in your way even more. So now my whole family is used to just running to where we need to go in the yard because then it can't keep up with us and get under our feet.

Unless it is really in a mood that day.

See, one day, I thought I'd be smart and run away from the porch to the garden and run past the duck, then it wouldn't touch me. Oh no, that didn't work, that thing was determined to get me. As I'm running that crazy duck starts flapping its wings so it can run faster to catch me and it lands on the back of my legs tripping me, and taking us both down with the dumb thing on top of me! I swear next thanksgiving I'm going to replace that Turkey with duck...